Tuesday, September 18, 2012

A message to all girls and young women

My cousin is preparing to celebrate her daughter's first birthday and asked family and friends to write letters for a keepsake book.  I'm in a particularly introspective point in my life at the moment, so I wrote this really verbose letter than my precious baby cousin will not understand for at least 10 or 15 years.  However, I feel like this is worthy of sharing because these are the words of advice I will one day offer to my daughter, to nieces, to young female cousins, to young girls I teach, to any girl or young woman who will listen!  These are the words I wish I had heard and absorbed years ago when I was starting my journey to becoming a mature woman.  How luck is she to have it in writing so she can always refer back to it in difficult times and situation.

Now that I've blown my own horn, here's the letter:


My sweet, precious cousin,

Happy first birthday!  You are a beautiful baby girl with an open, promising future.  As you grow up, you will most likely change your mind several times about your dreams, goals, and heart's desires.  That is ok, because you are going to journey through life finding your skills, talents, and passions along the way, carving your own path to happiness.  People are going to try to tell you what a "lady" is and what is feminine.  Some may try to limit your options because of this, do not let them.  With hard work and determination, you can achieve virtually anything.  

While some women love sparkles, ruffles, high heels, and other traditional "girly" things, others are content to adorn themselves simply, and that is fine too.  I could very well be considered a typical "girly girl" who studied dance and loves all things sparkly and shiny.  That is only one facet to who I am though.  I am also a determined, fierce, strong competitor and when you add a pair of roller skates that led me to train to compete in women's roller derby.  It looks rough around the edges, and it's not for everyone.  What I'm trying to say is the only person who can limit what you can achieve is YOU.  Chita Rivera says "Bring your own shoes."  In the movie "Whip It" they tell the young woman awed by their team to "Be your own hero."  This really just means be yourself and live your dreams.

As you journey through life, the path is going to be filled with mountains and valleys.  When you find yourself losing your footing and falling into a valley, just know that in front of you is the next mountain to climb.  God and your family are always going to be with you to help pick you and and get you to the top of the next mountain.  When people say things that are meant to tear you down, rest in comfort that you are "fearfully and wonderfully made" in the eyes of the Lord.  We all want acceptance in this world, but we can't always see the bigger picture and whose opinions of us ultimately matter the most.   I have lost my way a few times, and while I pray that your faith will be steadfast, I also know that when I have come back from losing my way my faith has returned and grown with greater strength and conviction.  I pray that you always find your way back and that each lesson in life makes you stronger and takes you closer to the woman you are called to be.

I will leave you with one Bible verse that I think all women, of all ages need to memorize.  When the world tries to tell us who we are meant to be, we must remember who God our ever loving Father calls us to be:

"She is clothed with strength and dignity and laughs at the days to come.  She opens her mouth in wisdom; kindly instruction is on her tongue" Proverbs 31: 25 - 26

I encourage you, when you are old enough to read and understand, to read Proverbs 31: 10 - 31 for the full poem of woman's worth.  In the meantime, remember always that you are a daughter of the Lord, clothed with strength and dignity, laughing in the face of uncertainty rather than cowering in fear and anxiety.  You nurture others with your wisdom, guidance, and kind instruction.  You build up those around you rather than tearing them down.

I love you my sweet cousin, and I so excited to see the young lady and mature woman you grow into throughout your life!

Love always,
        Cousin