Reflections on 2012

As 2012 came to a close and 2013 was approaching, I could not help but reflect on the events of the past year.  It was a roller coaster of a year and quite certainly did not end the way I expected it too.  Yet it is undeniable that through everything, there was a lot of growth that occurred in the past year.

In the beginning of the year I had resolved to work on my spiritual and financial life.  I took a class that helped me delve deeper into my faith and become more habitual about practicing Catholicism.  Through this class, I got more than just a deeper and renewed knowledge and practice of the faith.  I made a better relationship with a friend which led to later becoming involved in youth ministry with junior high students in September.

Through that friendship, I also got involved in roller derby.  After going to a 4th of July party at Rachel's house, I met some roller girls and found out that a new recruit class was beginning the following week.  I tried it out and have been sticking with it, though last month I was pretty busy and slacked off on skating.  Skating has helped me get active again and given me an outlet and release when things have gotten stressful.  I met some great people and gotten motivated  to stay physically active.  I actually rang in the new year by officiating at some exhibition bouts as part of the New Year's Eve events downtown and then watching the ball and fireworks with some of the girls.

In September I had the biggest change and challenge of the year when I became unemployed.  I've been praying about what the next step of my journey is, and found a temporary home where my skills have been greatly appreciated.  It's not what I'd like to do for the rest of my life and will be over in a couple of weeks, but it was great to get some confidence back.  Mean while, I've got one or two things I'm waiting on and back up plans after that.  I just keep praying that I follow God's will to build a career that fulfills His purpose for my life.

Throughout the year I also reflected on some relationships, past and present, that have affected my life.  I made amends with an old friend whose relationship with me had fallen apart dramatically and left a lot of residual negativity.  I finally answered the call to not only forgive, but to make amends.  I also finally opened up and honestly discussed my feelings with someone else whom I had been holding back from.  That was necessary in order to open my heart up to other possibilities.  It has not been easy, but I am resolving myself to open myself up to move forward into the new year, rather than hold on to the past and possibilities that aren't really in my future.

The most important thing throughout this year though, is the renewed strength in the relationship I have with my family.  In May, I went home to Louisiana to see my cousin's graduation.  I got to spend time with my step-father's family, whom I haven't gotten a chance to see since his funeral in 2009.  Louisiana overall still holds a huge place in my heart and always will because of my history there.  It can be bittersweet, but I know that I needed to make peace with it and my trips the past two years have been important for that purpose.

In June I went to my family's reunion in Las Vegas.  I got to see aunts and and uncles that I have only seen a few times in my life, and mostly for sad occasions such as funerals.  I got to meet my cousins who had only been anecdotes before, as well as their beautiful children.  I built relationships in that week that have lasted throughout the year.  In November, I went back for my cousin's wedding and was blessed to see many family members again.  It is a blessing for my large family to reconnect like this and to become more involved in each other's lives.  A great shout out to Facebook for helping keep us in touch!

I also got to spend extra time with my mother this year.  In October she, my aunt, and uncle moved to Florida and I got to celebrate my birthday with them there and see the end of their move into a permanent residence.  My mother also came to visit me for Christmas, which was a wonderful opportunity and redemptive trip from the last time she was here.  It is so great for me that I have spent almost an entire month with my mother this year!

All in all, I don't know for sure what 2013 will bring.  My need for control, certainty, clarity, and plans would normally make me a ball of anxiety, but I am trying my best to stay grounded and remain at peace that everything is going to work out.  Despite my anxious tendencies, all I can do is live in the moment one day at a time.

Happy New Year everyone!