Life Loyal: Sorority Recruitment from an Alumna's Eyes

As a new school year begins at college campuses across the nation, Greek women (and men as well) are preparing for their annual fall recruitment.  As part of that preparation, alumnae are invited to their chapter to stay connected and see how their younger sisters are doing.  Tonight, I went to my chapter's alumnae event.

It's only been three years since I became an alumna (and I haven't left the city), but the drive onto my small alma mater's campus does bring back four and a half years of memories.  As I stepped through the door, the alumnae chair greeted me and introduced herself, which feels oddly formal and reminds me that I'm not there every day any more.  Yet when I walk through the door, despite not recognizing any collegiate members (at least not immediately, there are a few I know from my super senior semester) I still know I'm home.  The energy in the room is familiar.  Girls are spread throughout the chapter room chatting, with a few milling around the kitchen.  A few other alums start to arrive and we chat catching up about life, families, jobs, etc while intermittently meeting collegiate members who are on their A game when it comes to making a good first impression.

Formality gives way to that underlying bond that transcends familiarity from member to member.  As I chat with a group of three girls, all in various studies of theatre, I find out that one of them is in my "family" (the line of mentorship known as big, little, grand big, great grand big, etc).  I share with them the story of how I think the family name has changed, along with an anecdote of the year I became a big and dressed up like a ninja to drop off a gift to my little.  They love the story, and I think I have resurrected the Ninja Fam as a group name.  Which is awesome.

Moving from the kitchen into the couches of the chapter room with two alums, some of the collegiate members join us and want to hear stories from our days in the house.  What has changed?  At first it seems like not much has changed, aside from our chapter doubling in size from when we were first initiated.  Then I realize that I went to school there as the dance school was just starting its pedagogy program and before it had a creepy scale that talked to you.  I feel the distance of the years a bit more keenly with that realization.  They ask what I'm doing now, and I'm so glad that I will be teaching dance in the fall so I have some aspect of my life still related to my degree.  

The alums get to see a bit of what the collegiate members will be sharing with potential new roommates during recruitment and my heart swells with joy watching them share their talents with us and watching a video montage of their involvement with our philanthropy.  Afterward we share stories, alumnae and collegiate members, of what our sisterhood means to us.  Many themes are repeated:  life long friendships, support through difficult times, helping each other meet our full potential, networking and gaining leadership opportunities.  So much of my adult life has taken shape thanks to this sisterhood.  I see pieces of myself and other sisters in the collegiate members.  Each woman is unique, but we are all real, strong women who are genuine, fun-loving, and passionate.  The traits that define the chapter now are still those that defined it during my college days.

As the evening draws to a close for alums (the collegiates still have work to do in preparation for recruitment) our younger sisters thank us graciously for joining them this evening and let us know that they look forward to seeing us again throughout the semester.  I stay and chat with a few older collegiates and some alums.  I wish my younger sisters the best of luck this week with recruitment and can't wait for them to welcome fantastic new women into our house on Sunday!

Loving My Life, While Still Appreciating Yours

*****Disclaimer***** I read a blog today that was someone's thoughts after attending a rehearsal dinner for a wedding with a group of people whose lives were quite different from her own.  Possibly not thinking that anyone from the table would read her post (and also possibly out of habit, because she posts every day) she candidly shared her thoughts, which hurt someone who was at the table, as well as friends who felt that their lives were misunderstood.  The original post has been taken down, but it got me thinking about how it feels when someone trivializes your life because it doesn't match their own or meet their expectations.  This entry reflects my thoughts on the topic.

How do you respond when you are thrown out of your comfort zone, when you are at an event seated with people who may not reflect your own life's path?  Do you learn from others and find common ground?  Do you focus on the differences and feel the need to ponder why your way is the "right" way, not necessarily just right for you but absolutely Right and better than others?

Life in your twenties is a decade of "finding" yourself and laying the foundation for your adult life.  Across this great land of ours, 20 somethings are committing themselves to family, career, self discovery, military service, etc.  Sometimes it feels like in the South and in the church circles (I say church circles, because it's not relegated to Catholic or Christian churches, I have a Muslim friend who has had pressure from her family as well) there's a strong push to get married and start a family.  Now, getting married and starting a family is a good and noble calling.  God willing, I look forward to meeting my life's partner and starting a family some day.  In the mean time, however, there is still a great deal for me to accomplish on my own.

Things I am grateful for at this point in my life:

*Living on my own: learning to be self-reliant, self-disciplined (a work in progress), and to be at peace in the solitude that will some day be distant memory

*Being able to embark on adventures on a whim.  To decide to travel near or far, or even to just stay home for the weekend if that suits me.

*Being able to cook whatever I want, eat out wherever I want, or just eat whatever shamefully indulgent thing is easier than cooking or leaving my apartment for.

*Dedicating time to volunteer (and hopefully doing more of that in the future) or get involved in activities that suit me, without having to consult anyone else's schedule.

*Not having to pick between families for holidays (except for having to choose what friends house to celebrate at when I stay in town for a holiday)

My Facebook friends list is a beautiful tapestry of various walks of life.  My newsfeed is flooded with production photos, show announcements, travel pictures, derby pictures, prayer requests, engagement photos, wedding photos, baby photos, updates on moves, and updates on deployments.  My friends are artists, performers, mothers, fathers, military, civilians, cousins, friends, aunts, sorority sisters, and various roller derby affiliates.  There is an abundance of humor, wisdom, rants, raves, recipes, tips, and tricks in the updates I scroll through during my day.  I wouldn't have it any other way!  I appreciate the diversity of those I have come in contact with, even though I may not agree with all opinions expressed.  Sometimes I learn a little bit from those I don't immediately agree with.  Sometimes I read and just scroll on.

There is a great deal to learn from those around us, even if they do not mirror us.  I get to look at beautiful pictures from all over the world, thanks to my military and vagabond performing friends.  When I'm at that place in my life where I am planning a wedding and eventually starting a family, I have friends that I KNOW have been there and can answer questions I might have.  If I'm travelling anywhere, pretty literally, I can throw the question of "What to see?" out there and I'm pretty likely to get a response from someone who has visited that location before.

My life is not better than yours, yours is not better than mine.  We are all taking the gifts, talents, and experiences that our Creator has given us and using them to the best of our abilities to share with others.  At least I hope we all are.  Just because I don't have a husband and children (yet) doesn't mean that I am waiting for my life to begin.  I am living it right now, as a daughter, niece, cousin, friend, sister, coworker, employee, volunteer, teacher, and inhabitant of this beautiful world.