Monday, August 5, 2013

Loving My Life, While Still Appreciating Yours

*****Disclaimer***** I read a blog today that was someone's thoughts after attending a rehearsal dinner for a wedding with a group of people whose lives were quite different from her own.  Possibly not thinking that anyone from the table would read her post (and also possibly out of habit, because she posts every day) she candidly shared her thoughts, which hurt someone who was at the table, as well as friends who felt that their lives were misunderstood.  The original post has been taken down, but it got me thinking about how it feels when someone trivializes your life because it doesn't match their own or meet their expectations.  This entry reflects my thoughts on the topic.

How do you respond when you are thrown out of your comfort zone, when you are at an event seated with people who may not reflect your own life's path?  Do you learn from others and find common ground?  Do you focus on the differences and feel the need to ponder why your way is the "right" way, not necessarily just right for you but absolutely Right and better than others?

Life in your twenties is a decade of "finding" yourself and laying the foundation for your adult life.  Across this great land of ours, 20 somethings are committing themselves to family, career, self discovery, military service, etc.  Sometimes it feels like in the South and in the church circles (I say church circles, because it's not relegated to Catholic or Christian churches, I have a Muslim friend who has had pressure from her family as well) there's a strong push to get married and start a family.  Now, getting married and starting a family is a good and noble calling.  God willing, I look forward to meeting my life's partner and starting a family some day.  In the mean time, however, there is still a great deal for me to accomplish on my own.

Things I am grateful for at this point in my life:

*Living on my own: learning to be self-reliant, self-disciplined (a work in progress), and to be at peace in the solitude that will some day be distant memory
*Being able to embark on adventures on a whim.  To decide to travel near or far, or even to just stay home for the weekend if that suits me.
*Being able to cook whatever I want, eat out wherever I want, or just eat whatever shamefully indulgent thing is easier than cooking or leaving my apartment for.
*Dedicating time to volunteer (and hopefully doing more of that in the future) or get involved in activities that suit me, without having to consult anyone else's schedule.
*Not having to pick between families for holidays (except for having to choose what friends house to celebrate at when I stay in town for a holiday)

My Facebook friends list is a beautiful tapestry of various walks of life.  My newsfeed is flooded with production photos, show announcements, travel pictures, derby pictures, prayer requests, engagement photos, wedding photos, baby photos, updates on moves, and updates on deployments.  My friends are artists, performers, mothers, fathers, military, civilians, cousins, friends, aunts, sorority sisters, and various roller derby affiliates.  There is an abundance of humor, wisdom, rants, raves, recipes, tips, and tricks in the updates I scroll through during my day.  I wouldn't have it any other way!  I appreciate the diversity of those I have come in contact with, even though I may not agree with all opinions expressed.  Sometimes I learn a little bit from those I don't immediately agree with.  Sometimes I read and just scroll on.

There is a great deal to learn from those around us, even if they do not mirror us.  I get to look at beautiful pictures from all over the world, thanks to my military and vagabond performing friends.  When I'm at that place in my life where I am planning a wedding and eventually starting a family, I have friends that I KNOW have been there and can answer questions I might have.  If I'm travelling anywhere, pretty literally, I can throw the question of "What to see?" out there and I'm pretty likely to get a response from someone who has visited that location before.

My life is not better than yours, yours is not better than mine.  We are all taking the gifts, talents, and experiences that our Creator has given us and using them to the best of our abilities to share with others.  At least I hope we all are.  Just because I don't have a husband and children (yet) doesn't mean that I am waiting for my life to begin.  I am living it right now, as a daughter, niece, cousin, friend, sister, coworker, employee, volunteer, teacher, and inhabitant of this beautiful world.



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